To Give My Full Attention:
This may have come as a surprise in your inbox today as I have not blogged since February. Back then it was so snowy, my neighbors were skiing down the block. Now it seems we’ve been trapped in a heat wave for two months. My roommate and I FINALLY got a couple of AC units to take the edge off, but the last month and a half were rough. Sleeping above the covers kind of heat.
So why haven’t I written lately?
I had my list of excuses, some of them valid and some of them lazy. What it boils down to is my desire to give my full attention to life in New York. Some of those life moments were absolutely wonderful!
Invited back to film The Gilded Age Season 2!
Working the Big Apple Film Festival and building my NYC directors network!
Auditions, Classes, Auditions, Classes.
Running around with new friends! Being a Barista! My brother’s wedding!
Filming as the principal role in my first commercial!
Other life moments were really hard. I’ve had to make difficult decisions to end things that were no-longer making me happy. As a natural born people-pleaser, it is easy for me to give much more than I receive. I was shocked to notice my cup was empty. I’ve had to do the work of cutting off the things and people that were draining, and search for a new source of inspiration. I often thought, “this made me so happy, surely it will make me happy again if I give it time”. Now I practice thoughts of “no matter what I used to feel, and no matter what they feel, am I happy today?” That mental shift, along with indoor rock climbing, yoga, pilates, and city excursions, are all the hippy-dippy mumbo-jumbo inner truth journey yadayada I’ve been doing all these months. For maybe the first time this morning, I felt bored. Not anxious, overwhelmed, excited, or energized. Boredom is a blessing because it is an opportunity to begin…anything! I chose to write.
August promises to be full of auditions again. The time in-between I plan to fill with excursions into new neighborhoods, rock-climbing, and ice-cream. If you’ve made it this far down the blog, I hope you too are giving your full attention to something you enjoy.